Friday, June 14, 2013

Alert the Media: Baby Sleeps Through Night!


For immediate release

June 14, 2013 - After a year of night wakings, the Schwartz baby has finally slept through the night.

His mother - who the night before last was woken for the day at 3 a.m. - was ecstatic and slightly delirious. "What is this strange feeling?" she asked. "I think I feel... rested?"

His father, still sleeping, was unavailable for comment.

For the past 12 months, Baby Schwartz has been up several times each night, usually taking three to four bottles between 8:30 p.m. and 5 a.m. His mother spent the year reading up on many different methods designed to increase baby sleep duration, including the Ferber method (controlled "crying it out") and the No-Cry Sleep Solution

In her quest to answer the question of "why" he was waking so often, she experimented with giving baby less formula during the night, giving baby more formula during the night, using a sound machine, changing the sound from "white noise" to "car motor" to "babbling brook," putting baby to bed later, putting baby to bed earlier, keeping baby up during the day, making sure baby has several naps during the day, and driving him around in the car before bed.

Sleep deprived and unable to think clearly, she could not use her findings to answer the question until now.

"I've finally figured out why he was having so much trouble sleeping through the night," she said. "He's a baby!"

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