Monday, July 1, 2013

Disasters Averted Yesterday

Disaster #1: No plan for the day, yet we have to get out of the house. (My husband wants to get projects done - and I fully support this.)
Solution:  Hijack the old kindergarten email list and invite everyone from my son's class to the park. Receive four responses, including one yes.

Disaster #2: While waiting at the park, we get a phone call. The above mentioned "yes" becomes a "no." The new friend my son just made leaves. Fifteen minutes into our excursion, he is dangerously close to announcing that this is "the worst day ever."
Solution: Wait out the lull in the kid crowd (It's a beautiful day - why is no one here??) with a short walk through the woods. Pray for kids to arrive while walking back. Spot one kid my son's age. Spend the next 30 minutes helping them bond. Success!

Disaster #3: After a long car ride to run an errand, older son, baby and I stop at a coffee shop to relax and regroup. Trunk will not open. Stroller is inside. I have to pee.
Solution: Kick car, impressing son by demonstrating my ability to make it shake. Swear a few fake swear words ("crud," "freakin'"). Drag stroller out of trunk over back seat, carefully keeping wheels from slamming into baby's face.

Disaster #4: Baby is screaming his head off in the coffee shop. I know the girl who works here is annoyed. We are not finished, but should probably find an outdoor seating area. It will take several trips to move the stroller, two cups of milk, a cup of water, and a plate of food.
Solution: Stay put. I am out of patience and too tired to move. My baby has every right to be here, and that worker girl was super-surly when she waited on us. This is her freakin' punishment.

Disaster #5: Still at the coffee shop, I encourage my son to try another bite of the hummus he claims to have "sort of" liked. He begins gagging as if he may throw up. 
Solution: Consider directing him to turn toward the bin, but realize it is full of recyclables. Marvel inwardly that the very same hummus has transformed screaming baby into cooing cutie-pie. Do nothing and hope the gagging will not escalate and will simply pass.

It does.

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