Friday, July 12, 2013

A Guide to Selling Home-Grown Vegetables

1. Have brainstorm while listening to son enumerate the many toys he wishes to purchase. I know - this kid needs a job! We could plant a garden and sell the vegetables!

2. Congratulate self on brilliance of this plan. My six-year-old will see food he's planted growing from the earth! He'll learn how hard it is to earn money! What a wonderful mother I am to dream up this healthy lesson!

3. Email manager of local farmer's market expressing interest in getting in.

4. Panic when manager emails back requesting photos. Think to yourself, "Of what?"

5. Hit garden center with your son for seed packets. Learn early July is kind of late to start a garden.

6. Realize you do not know how to build a raised bed and you're too weak to dig dirt from the ground to fill it.

7. Request husband's assistance.

8. Supervise kids outside while husband works on garden.

9. Interrupt husband several times to request that he supervise the kids while you run inside to:
                start egg for older son's lunch.
                get sheet to shade baby.
                check egg to see if water is boiling.
                make quick bottle.
                place egg in cool water so you can peel it.

10. Read seed packets and realize you do not understand the word "germinate."

11. Consider looking up "germinate" and other gardening information on Internet.

12. Start planting seeds instead. Read aloud that sunflower seeds should be 18 inches apart. Don't believe it.

13. Toss all seeds in haphazard lines and cover with dirt. Hope gardening can't possibly be an exact science.

14. Allow son to water new garden and see that he has created a large flood, exposing several seeds.

15. Panic and declare with false authority that too much water is "bad for the garden." Then wonder aloud if that's true, since rain probably floods gardens all the time.

16. Hope for the best. Imagine yourself and your son selling vegetables at farmer's market. But don't dare answer that email.

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